This is the first time I’ve ever gone dancing with a girl. So far, so good.
I don’t know why I even bother trying to sleep in the afternoon/evening. I really want to get rest before being up all night, but my body/mind just won’t shut down. I don’t know if it’s just cause I’m not used to napping, or nerves, or both. I’m always so nervous before going dancing. My social anxiety goes through the roof. I know I’ll be high as kite later on, but I still have to get there, go through security, talk to people, it stresses me out. I just have to keep telling myself it’ll all be ok in the end.
So tired and simultaneously so full of energy. My legs are dead. On the upside I’m pretty sure my knees won’t hurt as much, I paid attention this time, refined my style.
Also I’m proud I just quit instead of taking more speed. One is enough, I know if I start letting that shit slide I’ll be over doing it before long. I was still there for over 8 hours. My legs will keep getting stronger and I’ll keep getting more out of this.
D-Formation was amazing.
I do love the dancing, but there’s something about that cool off period, as my heart starts to slow down this amazing calm comes over me. It’s pure fucking bliss. The entire world feels perfect right now. Nothing could ever be wrong in this moment. Then, when it passes, more dancing. Repeat.
I’m in my favourite spot, on the couch in the lower corner, I can lean back and watch the whole dance floor and the dj booth. I love the dancing, but I love the watching. It’s who I am, the watcher, the observer, the outsider. Right now I’m ok with that, not only ok, but happy with who I am and whatever I’m doing. I wish I could be this man all the time.
One day I will see past my fear, let it wash over me and let go of it. That day is closer all the time.
I can still hear the music in my head. And I’m still dancing to it. My knees hate me right now. Oh god tomorrow is going to suck. The pain. The unspeakable pain.
I am now directly under the dj dancing in front of the crowd and facing them. Good bye anxiety.
Got my second wind. DANCE DANCE DANCE!!!
God damn, what an amazing night this has been. My legs are totally dead and I’m just chilling on the couch watching people dance in order to learn new moves. Not that I’m not amazing, but some of these people are fantastic. My head won’t stop bopping all over the place. I love this place.
DANCE DANCE DANCE!!!
