I am who I am
I’m a late twenty-something metro-sexual punk living in Montreal, Canada. I’m taken and fucking thrilled about it. I love music and agree with Nietzsche that life would be an error without it. Unlike Nietzsche though, I don’t hate women. I love every woman I meet, but I give my heart to only one. I am most happy when I have ridiculously hard problems to solve. I like getting high. I constantly worry I’m broken on the inside.
I spent the first 20 years or so chasing perfection by believing in and feeling nothing. Caring about people was a concept, not an emotion. I was dead inside, knew it, but knew no other way. Then one day I realised what it was to care. It was an epiphany moment, I couldn’t help but see that for all I had, I had absolutely nothing. I became obsessed with all the hurt and pain I caused not through evil, but through misunderstanding and apathy. I convinced myself I was a terrible human being. I quit my job, stopped talking to all the people in my life, and for five months I didn’t even go outside. I eventually hit absolute bottom and I tried to kill myself.
Since then I’ve spent the last 3 years trying to crawl out of the hole I built. To rebuild my life and my mind, to figure out a way to love and care about people. This is where I go to talk about the thoughts I can’t quite share with anyone face to face. The things I need to get out of my head before they consume me.
Also, if you’re under 18 there’s a good chance I’m not going to follow you. It’s nothing personal, it’s just not something I want to do.
