SwearFui don't care what they say about us anyway, i don't care about that
Jul 17, 2008 17:16 EDT
I've spent my entire life hating myself and surrounding myself with people who would validate that hatred over and over again by constantly belittling me in some sick effort to feel better about themselves.
Just yesterday I got an e-mail from a person I once held in such regard, and all it contained was a diatribe about what a bad person I was. Worse, it was based on absolutely nothing, on ideas this person just created out of thin air because I refuse to even have them in my life anymore.
What really bothers me about it though, is that my instinct should be to just laugh it off, to realise how sad and pathetic such a person must be, and not let it affect me, but it does. I take every thing anyone says to heart because I'm just so used to accepting I'm a horrible person, a bad person. I let one stupid person make everything I've been feeling good about fly right out the window. It's not fair.
I do do it to myself though, I'll never claim otherwise. I value myself less than everyone else, I accommodate everyone around me while they shit all over me, just to have them call me a horrible person the second I get fed up, snap, and stand up for myself. I'm the world's bitch, and I let it happen, but not anymore, not ever again.
Weezer - Buddy Holly
sad